by Hazel Bond
“Now tonight for something special,”
Said his darling, little Petal.
“Here’s this woman’s magazine
Filled with recipes supreme.
Let’s forget about spaghetti.
There’s this thing called cappelletti!
I think it should delight a man,
But…I have no Parmesan
And I read here that they say,
‘Make the pasta at midday.’
Here’s another sounds a rave.
Oh, it needs a microwave.
Gammon wants a turnip diced.
Boiling beef a parsnip, sliced.
They would thus a problem posen,
If I had the meat unfrozen.
Boston beans must have black treacle?
Man, but that gives me the needle!
All this talk of food’s alarming.
As for me, I’m simply starving
Tell me darling, this I beg,
Would you like some scrambled egg.”