The Upsides and Downs of granny-hood

by Penny M

(not for readers with sensitive stomachs)

Let’s just say that somewhere between my own children and now, I developed a phobia about snot. I remember attending a lecture at the South African Writers’ Circle once to listen to a children’s author. Forgive me, his name escapes me, probably because he spent a great part of the session focussing on the book he had written for children on the subject of SNOT. I won’t allow myself to think of all the descriptive words he used to describe it. Even writing this, my stomach is churning.

Imagine then, this granny (actually NanniPen) tasked with the care of a bright, three year old with a grotty cold (which she incidentally shared with me) – yuck!!! I’ll leave most to your imagination – just think yellow, string, goo and all those other revolting words that man put in his book for child appeal. My little angel takes great delight in whizzing towards me, gunge flying.

The good news is I survived. I could probably win a trophy for the world’s fastest tissue application known to children. I just hope the award doesn’t come with future fans or a book launch.

On a lighter note, yes there are always lots of those, I did a full night shift in the same bed with my precious who has just graduated to Big Sister status. At 5.30 a.m., the cat came to tell us she had caught a lizard. My ward swapped her night nappy, heavy with nine hours of wee, for daytime panties instead of another nappy and told me to get up. When I tried to coax her back to bed for another little sleep, she said, “No, NanniPen, put your glasses on and wake up, it’s morning!”

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5 thoughts on “The Upsides and Downs of granny-hood

  1. jac dowling says:

    Nice one Penny – I know the feeling well! trouble is, up to a certain age they don’t know how to blow their noses…

  2. Thanks Jac, my precious knows her nose and how to blow it, but she doesn’t walk around with a box of tissues lodged between her chest and chin. She’s also picked up that it’s not NanniPen’s favourite chore so the game is on.

  3. jac dowling says:

    I shan’t start on nappies then!!!

  4. Susan says:

    I remember that book about snot! Unfortunately, the illustrations are more vivid in my memory than the words…

  5. Sue says:

    Oh, sadly I remember that book too – not very pleasant at all. Well done NanniPen I may have run away.

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