By Hazel Bond

Now I am an old woman I shan’t wear purple
Nor shall I wear a red hat that doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me.
Purple makes my skin look like I have jaundiceUSESan-Diego-Hat-Purple-2
And hats of any colour are anathema to me.
I have to wear a hearing aid because
What I hear is Summa Bin Laden when
What they are saying is “thunder and lightning.”
Now I go to bed at one or two in the morning
And sleep all afternoon, which charges my batteries
for going to bed at one or two the next morning.marshmallow
Soon I shall swear loudly, instead of under my breath,
at the packers who put all the heavy items in one basket
with tissues and marshmallows in the other.
And I shall send terrible curses to those who send me
hours of time-wasting junk on my e-mail,
and especially to those who send sentimental email-150x150
or superstitious stuff that has to be returned to them
and sent on to ten other people.
If they have already read it why in heaven’s name
Do they want it back ten times from ten more people?
Are they afraid that one day their inbox will have nothing in it?
It is time now too, to trip with my walking stick
Those who stand talking at the off-ramp of an escalator
When I am trying to step off of it.
And with the privilege of age I now write non-rhyming poetry
And inflict it on the few good friends
Who haven’t departed this life before me.


8 thoughts on “NOW I AM OLD

  1. Susan says:

    Excellent, Hazel! My feelings exactly, especially about the packers who don’t understand (or don’t want to) that arthritic fingers cannot lift heavy shopping bags. Sometimes I wish I had a cattle-prod (a gentle one or maybe just an umbrella) to ease those stragglers away from the end of the escalators. And purple may be pretty, but it just isn’t my colour either!

    • Hazel Bond says:

      Have taken some time to check on this, but delighted to read your kind comments. Cattle prod is a darned good idea. Far better than a walking stick. Keep writing susan. Happy 2016. Best wishes, Hazel

  2. jac says:

    From this strongly DA part of the world Hazel, where we are all bilingual – ek stem heeltemal saam!! lots of anathemas, especially blue rinses, never mind the hats…let’s have some more of your lovely humour please.

    • Hazel Bond says:

      Baie dankie vir die mooi woorde, jac. Miskien sal ons eednag ontmoet want Ssomerset Wes is nie so ver van jou plekkie dink ek. Alles van die beste, Hazel

  3. Amazing how a poem written by an English poet fifty six years ago can inspire such ‘reverses’ from our equally talented guest poet today. Beautifully put, Hazel. Now – when you’ve got the marshmallows balanced with the brandy and three pounds of sausages, perhaps we can get you a Google profile and a pair of satin sandals.

    • Hazel Bond says:

      Kind words indeed Penny. A friend at our “Poetry For Pleasure Group” said this poem struck a bell with him when the packer put all the heavy tinnd stuff in on top of a sponge cake!!! Needless to say the tissues were separate. I really fancy those satin sandals. Warm wishes, Hazel

  4. Sue says:

    Beautiful, Hazel. Let’s wear purple but only, if it suits us – and let’s throw out the things we do not want and say what we truly feel. Ah yes, getting old is a grand feeling!

  5. Hazel Bond says:

    Indeed a great feeling. As they say “At 20 you worry over what people think of you. At 40 you don’t care what they think and at 60 you realise they haven’t been thinking of you at all.” With love,

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