This past weekend I overheard a conversation which went something like:
Boy: I really want a new fridge, a shiny silver one with double-doors and a water dispenser.
Girl: What are we going to put in this huge new fridge? You only want it so you don’t have to turn on a tap.
Boy: We can put your lettuce on one shelf. The hamster’s lettuce on another and then open up the packet of apples and spread them around the other shelves … and the milk will take up some space too.
Then I got to thinking about what was in my fridge and I had to laugh. I don’t have a double door shiny silver one with a water dispenser but I have one with two baskets in the freezer. There’s ice cream in one and half a bottle of vodka in the other – so at least I’m always prepared. In the fridge there’s milk, of course, and condiments that are probably pushing their sell by dates and water and a huge big pot of soup because my winter cooking skills are fine tuned. I make a big pot of soup and when it’s done I make another and when it’s too warm for soup I turn to the aforementioned ice cream. Keeping life simple is what it’s all about. There are also apples and carrots in the veggie drawer for the days when soup is not an option.
Then I remembered about ten years ago an IT guy I worked with told me about some gadget for your fridge that tells you when your milk is going off and when you’ve run out of cheese and I recall staring at him and thinking: Is he sane?
Today I Googled and discovered that not only was he sane but that the world is now insane.
There’s an app called Fresh Box whereby you take a photo of everything you put in your fridge and then add an expiration date. So you can see what you have and for how much longer it’s going to be edible. Fridge Pal lets you scan the barcode and create your own personalised shopping list and Grocery Hero, once it knows the contents of your fridge, will provide you with recipe suggestions. These are but three amongst a host of apps that make me rather nervous.
Another website convinced me that it is exceedingly important to look in a man’s fridge before you date him. I had a few questions about the logistics of that, but no one was on hand to provide answers. The gist of the page was to avoid a man whose fridge is filled with takeout containers and one whose fridge is full of exotic foodstuffs and also one whose fridge contains nothing but protein. I’m not sure whom that leaves but I’ll cross that bridge at a later date.
It gets worse. I then took a quiz about the contents of my fridge which informed me that: ‘You don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy (just ice cream). You have a bit of a wild side (I bet that was the vodka!). You are very likely single …’ and those are just the kind bits.
So my advice to you is to clean out your fridges on a regular basis. Make sure your food is sans fur because you never know when someone is going to step into your home and judge you by the contents of your fridge.
Oh, and while I hate to be rude, if you have a fridge app, I’m going look at you askance.